“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he
takes out.” - George Bernard Shaw
A gentleman is commonly defined as a man who treats other
people in a proper and polite way. Unfortunately, these characteristics
have been lost in recent generations. Blame it on whatever you’d like; music,
television or outrageous celebrity behavior. Now, one needs swagger to be
noticed. Gentlemanly behavior is shunned upon and flows parallel to thirsty behavior.
Translation: Be a self-indulgent or you’re trying too hard.
Acting that way, sounds pretty stupid and incredibly immature.
That’s probably because that’s exactly what it is. Kind and caring acts are
still welcome. Women will still find it sweet if you use common courtesy and
sprinkle some manners on top. Don’t let yourself be fooled.
The gentleman is an endangered species now, so it’s hard
to find a good example to follow. Don’t be discouraged though, because below
are five simple ways to kick-start your trip down the path of a true gentleman.
5. She’s first.
This is a simple rule to follow. Whenever you aren’t sure
just remember, “She’s first.” Think about it. Momma always said, “Ladies first.”
This applies to any and everything. Allow her to sit first
when you are seated at a table for dinner (if you want to go all out you’ll
pull out her seat, but one step at a time.). When the server comes to take your
order you always let the lady order first. Let her lead the conversation first.
Basically, no matter the circumstance you put her first. That’s it.
4. Pay
This should go without saying. A true gentleman always
pays. You took her out and that includes footing the bill. If you can’t afford
some swanky restaurant, don’t go there. Find something within your price range
or do something other than dinner. At no point should you ever ask or expect the
lady to split the bill.
She might fight you on paying and offer to give you
something. That means you’ve gone out with a quality girl, but you still
insist.
3. Listen
This might be your first date and you’re nervous. It’s
going to be hard to focus, but you can do it. Breathe… You have to stay in the
moment and listen.
Listening is the key. It lets people know you’re
involved. Not to mention it’s going to improve the quality of conversation, because
you will be able to give real answers to what she says. It will help more than
you know and it’s such an easy thing to do.
By the way, listening also means you do not go on
blabbering about yourself and dominating the conversation. Remember rule number
5? She’s first. Let her carry the conversation and become comfortable first.
2. Walk with her.
This doesn’t mean go take a romantic stroll (although
that never hurts). This means you walk her to her car when she’s leaving. You
walk her to her apartment if you’re doing something nearby. You walk her to her
door when you drop her off. You walk her out if you’re doing dinner at your
place. You go out, greet her and walk her in if you’re doing dinner at your
place too.
You never want to just end a night abruptly and part ways.
You want one last finishing touch that shows you’re putting her first. A lady
should never have to walk back alone. You should always see that she gets to
where she is going safely. It might only be a few extra steps, but it’s those
little things that will make a big difference.
1. Magic Words
Seriously, this is so easy and will go so far. Saying please
and thank you won’t hurt. Manners are the name of the game. If you’re trying to
be a gentleman, you should be using them all the time. Use them when you’re
talking to her and use them when you’re talking to others. When a server takes
your order say thank you. When you need to get someone’s attention say excuse
me. Don’t just yell “Hey!” When you have a request say please. It will get you
so far, not just with your lady, but in all aspects of life. Consider this step
one in showing that you actually care about people other than yourself.
Being a gentleman shouldn’t be considered an old time
idea. It will still get you very far. The right people will admire you more for
it. More folks will take an interest in you if you show that you have an interest
in them. Being a gentleman will work wonders. If you put others ahead of
yourself, you’ll be amazed by the results.
It’s like what George Bernard Shaw said, “A gentleman is one
who puts more into the world than he takes out.”
Stay tuned for more rules to being a true gentleman.
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